A few months ago, a six-year-old boy was hit and killed by a
car in Bnei Brak. Naturally, one of the questions that arose
was how the accident occurred and whose lack of caution was
responsible.
During the Shivoh, two unrelated individuals arrived
who had seen the accident and knew what the family and even
the police did not know about what had transpired.
Seconds before the tragic accident, they explained, the young
child had asked a passerby to help him cross the street.
Casting a quick glance, he said, "It's OK, run." And so the
boy ran — straight to his death.
*
Imagining the scene is truly frightful. For the child had
been taught (rightfully) not to cross the street alone. He
assumed (correctly?) that an adult passing by would take
responsibility and bring him to the other side safely.
Perhaps the adult was in a hurry, or perhaps he wasn't. He
shot a quick glance and saw the street was clear of cars.
Perhaps he knew, or perhaps he didn't, that to help a child
across the street means to physically take him to the other
side, just as he would have taken his own child. But he was
in a rush or thought it unnecessary since the street appeared
to be clear of traffic and simply said, "It's OK."
But it was not OK. Not at all. Nothing is OK about a six-year-
old meeting his death while crossing the street when his last
innocent thought is, "But he said it's OK." (In truth there
is another very important reason why it was not OK. You never
run in the street! And you certainly should never tell
someone else, particularly not a child, to run in the
street!)
*
It should be made clear that nobody is blaming the anonymous
figure for the death of the child. As Jews of faith we know
that all is decreed in Shomayim and the string of
events of a child crossing the street innocently and a car
rushing to take a woman in labor to the hospital is clearly
Hashgochoh.
However, since we are commanded to carefully safeguard
ourselves—"venishmartem lenafshoseichem me'od"
— perhaps each of us should take the time to consider
our level of awareness of what takes place out on our
streets.
First of all, we must make a simple decision: When a child
asks me to help him across the street, I must decide. Either
I take full responsibility for him and take him across much
more carefully than I take myself across the street, or I
say, "I'm sorry, but I don't have time." Perhaps this is not
very nice, but it's better to be not nice than not
responsible.
Furthermore, every parent should tell his child about this
incident in a dry manner. "There was a man who told a boy he
could cross the street and the man didn't see there was a car
in the street and the boy got hit." This will instill him
with a sense of personal responsibility to check an erred
decision by another person.
In general, it might be well to tell children that to be
helped across the street means to actually walk with the
escort from one side all the way to the next. Any other form
of help should be interpreted by the child as a failure on
the part of the adult to carry out his duty. In other words,
don't cross, even if the street is narrow and no car can be
seen for a mile, if the adult does not cross with you but
says, "It's OK."
Adults should beware when crossing back to the sidewalk they
left behind. Typically they will cross back without heeding
the change in traffic that may have taken place. During the
seconds it took to help the child across, cars that were far
away are now close and even worse, their drivers see two
people crossing in one direction and do not expect one of
them to suddenly turn around and retrace his steps. Those
readers who are also drivers surely know the calculations
every driver makes in setting his speed according to
pedestrians' pace without taking into consideration sudden,
surprising, illogical moves.
*
At this juncture it would be apt to devote a few words to the
culture of walking in the street.
Around the world, people walk on the sidewalk while vehicles
drive on the street.
But there are a few crowded places where the sidewalk is
considered a sort of polite offer one need not necessarily
accept . . . and the crosswalk is merely white stripes
painted on the asphalt for some reason. As hard as it may be
to admit, there are those among us who walk in the street.
Take a good look during the course of the day and you'll see
dozens of adults and children walking in the street and
carrying on conversations as if the street was a promenade
with a view of the setting sun in the background.
Driving on certain streets is becoming more dangerous from
day to day. Every moment, a child darts out from among the
wheels, based on a momentary decision and at top speed. Yet
adults, too, pay little heed to the crosswalks . . .
Since this is a genuine case of pikuach nefesh,
perhaps there should be stiffer enforcement to prevent
crossing the street outside of the crosswalk. It may be
annoying and cost money, but it will save lives and prevent
bodily harm.
But the best solution is for every individual to take the
rules of traffic safety to heart and exercise caution
regarding crosswalks, in order to safeguard ourselves and our
children as best we can.
*
And one last word: Moments before this column was finished, a
12-year-old child, in his typical innocence pointed out, "You
wrote about children who walk in the street, but you probably
forgot that there are drivers who park in their way on the
sidewalk . . . "
